


God I Hate Glitter.

by ChestyMcBigboobs



Series: Soulmate Saga [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheesy, Decapitation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Humor, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Strangulation, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 05:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4817399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChestyMcBigboobs/pseuds/ChestyMcBigboobs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first words their soul mates will say to each other appear on their bodies throughout their life, after significant events take place. Normally there is at least one word by the age of 20. 25 a "Blank Canvas" and broke, the reader finally finds a job dealing with the curse she has of bringing other soul mates together. Coping with a new job and mysterious disappearances is fine dealing with Fake F.B.I? Not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	God I Hate Glitter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic positing on archiveofourown and my first ever one shot!  
> I can do a part two if it's requested XD!  
> Anyway! Enjoy :D

“I’m not going to lie” I flashed my brightest smile “I’ve always been fascinated with the ideas and possibilities of soulmates for a very long time-“

“Yeah I get that, but what makes you different? What sets you apart from the other applicants?” Mr Roman (“Call me Dick”) sat with his elbows on the table, fingers domed touching at the tips and a very uncomfortable grin on his lips. I was almost expecting a creepy “Excellent” to slip past those blindingly white teeth.

I shuddered and covered it up with a sigh. I was currently being interviewed for some office job that dealt with the victims of “What If I Never Find My Soul-Mate? Syndrome”. (I call them WINS for short, WIINFMSMS Is a bit of a mouthful.) And I wasn’t doing too badly, sure the boss was beyond sketchy, in his overly tailored pinstripe suit and the fact I don’t like people or the idea of working with people or having to be around really sad people... but I needed this job… this is what I wanted to say:

“I need the money. I’m boarder line bankrupt. I’m about to get evicted and my cats hungry. I’m willing to work my ass off for it even if it means dealing with people’s "relationship" struggles. We are _all_ going through the _stupid_ and darn right, annoying, journey of finding a soulmate. That is beyond psychotic, considering _some_ of us will never find them in this life... but I’m willing to put other people’s misery before my own if it means not having to work in retail EVER. And with this job, I can wipe my lonely tears with twenties and wallow in self-pity chugging down the _good_ ice-cream, Instead of crying my eyes out at 2 A.M. in my jammies, wondering why I can’t be rich and how come my cat can’t be my soulmate… Yes. I’ll leave now and never return.”

I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable under his never wavering grin, even in my classy business attire .

There was only one way I was going to win… as honest as I could get away with.

 What I said as I smiled brightly.

 “I smile a lot and people like talking to me because I listen… or at least they think I do. It’s hard for you to ask me how I am different when unfortunately, people can be painstakingly the same. what I will say though, what sets me apart is that I can be what people want me to be, rather than what they were expecting... and” taking a shallow breathe, “I’m jinxed. When people meet me, they find their soulmate… I’m not being vein, it’s a curse but I’m willing to use it for good instead of evil for a change.” I added hopefully, smile still in place.

Mr. (Dick) Roman leaned back in this chair a half smile now in place, it was the first time I had not seen his teeth in the forty five minutes we had been communicating. While his fingers drummed on his shiny desk, I took a moment to become self-conscious of my pencil skirt I had never worn until now and the ladder forming in the crotch of my stockings I hoped he couldn’t see. He took his bloody time pondering my answer. I took my time in investigating the ceiling tiles while praying to whatever Angel was out there to allow something good to happen… I mean, yeah. it was bad that two (former) employees here have gone missing in the past month but hey their loss…. I am a terrible horrible person who will burn in hell.

“That is probably the most… honest answer I’ve have ever heard…” He smiled that weird ass grin again as our eyes met and I kept my enthusiasm in place. “Thank you so much for coming in today. We shall be in touch.”

My bright smile never wavering, I stood and shook his extended hand. I thanked him for the opportunity and turned to leave.

“Miss L/N? You said that people only think you listen… you and I both know you’re the kind of person who’ll take things to heart and I think you would do well in this industry.” He paused, a sad expression creasing his molded features, “People with our _talent_ have to stick together.” His Grin was quickly back in place, he winked before sitting back at his desk the conversation now over.

Air conditioning and box offices greeted me as I made my way to the elevator. When the doors closed I threw up a power fist and did a victory dance in a circle.

“Ahem.” The unmistakable sound of somebody clearing their throat. I froze completely embarrassed life flashing before my eyes and because I have no shame…

“Are you going up or down?” I grinned to the man behind me. A short, elderly gentlemen that wore a neat knitted sweater and khaki pants.

“Human resources,” His voice was high pitched and harsh. “I’m _going_ to lay a complaint.” The door dinged open and he all but stomped out.

“Note to self, check elevators before entering.” I slumped against the back wall suddenly defeated as more people filed in; I tried to keep my face cherry whilst catching snippets of the conversations around me.

“So they found Karen-“

“Yes I heard, poor thing head exploded next to a confetti cannon!”

"I heard it was blown off _by_ the confetti cannon."

“How absurd!”

“Nasty way to go.”

“Did you hear about Kenneth?”

“No-“

“Couldn’t believe! Dead as well.”

“Gosh no… then again I never liked him.”

The doors opened to the ground floor and the chatter died down. I walked to the revolving doors, being quadrupole careful not to get stuck; you only want to do that once… twice if the second time was an accident too. The air was sprinkled with orange and brown leaves singling the arrival of fall at last, as if the slight chill wasn’t enough of a reminder. The only thing off about this afternoon was my sudden strike of self-confidence at having, hopefully, landed a new job and the rainbow that glistened brightly though there were no clouds in sight.

*

Being at home sucked. The little apartment was the size of a postage stamp. Kitchen, dining room and lounge were almost in the same space, with the bathroom and one bedroom barely big enough to fit a toddler yet alone a healthy adult female... Healthy if you counted only eating cereal with no milk for three days straight as healthy. If the outdated peeling wall paper wasn’t depressing enough, the only one who wanted to hear about my day was my cat and she was probably around at the neighbors posing for treats. I needed a shower.

I shed my blouse and skirt being careful to lay them neatly on my single bed, in case I needed them tomorrow. I needed to take a trip to the laundromat but I could do that in the morning. I ignored everything else in favor of the indoor hot rain. At least the water pressure was decent at just past dribble.

Letting the steam consume my thoughts, I let the life evaluation begun. I was here because three, now six of my super-duper best buddies had found the people they were meant to fall in love and procreate with. There was even a literal spark and everything. The worst thing was, none of them would have met of it wasn’t for me… a fact they always acknowledge in their meeting stories… “I was running late to meet _you_ when I bumped into…” “I had no idea _you_ were friends with…” “I swore it was _you_ beside me but when I tapped her shoulder I knew…” Then the nicknames started.

_“Love Jinx.”_

Like, I am more than happy for my friends, I really am but then they started setting me up on blind dates every second evening and none of them were right. Then my dates started finding the “Perfect Match.” It was a secret I had kept quiet for as long as I could remember. Then Alas. Word spread as it always does. So I moved… Straight outta college, dead ass broke, in debt and jobless.  “Move” they said, “It’ll be fun” they said… who am I kidding? No one said that. I moved from Texas to Kansas in as little as four days, two trips in all and _Lord_ only knows how much I spent on gas. I then sold my car for the down payment on _this_ box and have been searching for a stable, non-retail, related job in the three weeks I have been here… Winner! I found the job by chance when I was reading the headline, “Worker Found Beheaded By Cat’s Cradle.” When the one underneath it read, “Match Makers Now Hiring.”

I looked at the inside of my thighs and arms, now red from the heat of the shower and inhaled a shaky breath… Another secret I had always kept to myself.

Not everyone was destined to find their soulmate in this life and as babies we all started out as “Blank Canvases.” The first words, sometimes sentences, appear on our bodies throughout life. Normally when a significant event would occur, a word or sentence would appear, this would eventually lead you to finding your soulmate. For example: If you get hit by a car and you go to hospital with a broken leg, when you take the cast off you might have another word on your body. Maybe there could be more words on you like the first thing the cute nurse said as you were first admitted into hospital. Or you were a student at high school and a little persons tells you to become a teacher, you think that’s a good idea, next thing a change of undies and _bam_! A word, a sentence or maybe a paragraph… that was love. In golden ink.

By twenty it was assumed that you would at least have one word, if not you were called a “Blank” and you would have to “Try again next life!”

When Roman said ‘ _Talent’_ he meant “Blank space”. At twenty-five I was destined to be alone. Forever. And I didn’t mind that… that was a lie.

I stopped and let the water run almost cold. Twenty-five years, that’s five years of _knowing_ I was a freak, knowing I was alone… that emotional trauma really built up.

The air was cold causing goose-flesh to rise as I toweled off. I Made my way to my bed and plonked down in defeat. I stayed like that.

It wasn’t until I could see my breath in white puffs coiling around my face that I chucked on a loose shirt and fat pants. Yes, I own and wear fat pants with no shame. Pulling them up something caught my eye.

I was shocked to say the least… there… on my right thigh.

“ _What the fuck_?” When did they? How did they?   _Why_ did they?

In neat cursive writing, _Barely_ visible in... Bright pink? .…I traced the words with my fingers. I was terrified, overjoyed and upset. My soulmates first words to me.

 “ _’Well that’s not…God, I hate glitter.’_ Who the hell would hate glitter?” I don’t know what I was more shocked about, the words appearing five years too late, the fact the color was wrong or someone hating glitter?

I really wished they were “Meow.”

One thing I knew for sure, I was meant to see Dick.

… Phrasing.

*

An email blurted on my phone causing me to wake up from my nightmare of being paired with a joyless glitter hating asshole. Squinting at the light I got up and danced. I Yelled and woo hood until the neighbor threatened to never return my cat. I got the job!

I prayed thanks until the reality of working with people… beside people… _for_ people set in… then I cried internally.

Another email, shortly afterwards, alerted that my new boss would be eloping after my training had finished, because he didn’t like weddings.

*

Two weeks went by in a blur of, what do I do? People crying and everlasting gratitude.

On the plus side it was casual Friday so I got to wear jeans sneakers and a shirt that said “Feeling lucky?” The irony wasn’t lost on me considering what I now did for a living.

So, as I found out, there are these government programs that are set up for rich people that, when they can’t find love, they can choose to cash in some of their insurance for a ‘Match Making’ session where they go to get advice about what to do to find love, well rather _the_ love...

Being a new and totally inexperienced ‘Match Maker’ I was the person they came to. With Dick away on his “Vacation” I was settled with handling this particular client, who was a ‘Cryer’.

“I just don’t understand…” Wailing was putting it lightly, I flinched and handed her another tissue across my small desk. “I was doing so well! The first words matched! Then I saw a map of the world and the rest of the words were wrong!” She blew her nose loudly. I offered her a weak smile. When she cried harder I realized she must be a hugger… Dear Lord send me your most patient Angel so I may call on their strength to not say what I’m thinking right now. (Well that’s pretty shit innit?)

I stood maneuvering around the small space so I didn’t break anything, I sat on the chair beside her, I moved close so our knees were touching. I placed her hands, which were white knuckling the tissue, in my own and I squeezed lightly. Her skin was tanned against mine. I looked into her dark brown eyes, her black hair falling around her pretty face, her eyes were puffy and cheeks were flushed but she was still gorgeous.

“Lisa, listen for a second ok hun?” She nodded trying to take deep breathes, “Ok good.” I squeezed her hands again. “Your profile says you have never left the country, that you only ever leave your state to visit your parents, you have a young son who wants to see the world…” She sobbed again and I knew I was losing her, I changed tactic. “may I ask… what are your words?” The words were a very privet thing. I should know. Lisa shifted uncomfortably and avoided my eyes.

 “Common, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” I chucked. She warmed at that but still looked a little embarrassed. I was about to give up when I heard her mumble in the smallest voice.

“ _’Pretty and smart? The triple threat_.’” She gave me a wet smile.

I felt a pang of envy.

I chucked regardless. I stood pulling her to her feet.

“I think you should go on vacation to Disney land or somewhere that you haven’t been. Take the rest of the money that you have deposited for the visits and have some fun.” I made sure she was looking into my eyes as I said this.

“But-“ I pulled her into a hug cutting her off.

“No buts, if you get back and you still need help, I’ll spring for your session.” I put her to arm’s length rubbing her upper arms in encouragement before stepping aside allowing her to go.

She looked rather taken aback but then grinned.

“Thanks, I think that’s what Ben and I need right now.” She nodded before sniffling a finial time.

“Sweet.” I said and gave her the double thumbs up. She began to leave as I settled at my desk.

“Oh! What are your words?” The sudden question made me pause. I made a quick decision.

“’You remind me of that chick from Titanic.’” I laughed and she joined in before I waved her away and she went with a spring in her step.

I don't know why I lied.

“They found Marty!” There was a chorus of curiosity shuffles around me as every cubical tuned in. Crap I had just sat down too.

“What is it this time?” I asked, Marty had been the latest one to disappear, First Karen who went missing for two weeks then was found at the children’s park with her head blown to pieces by a confetti cannon, apparently partying was deadly… we already established I am going to hell. Then Kenneth who turned up the day of my interview, he went missing for two weeks. He had been decapitated with a circle of string that was used for a game of cat’s cradle… with his neck. The office quietened down as Dennis the Irishman from I.T. began reading the article out loud.

“Found floating in a river,” He announced we could hear his cringe as he continued, “apparently he had water wings, you know the flutter wings kids have in paddling pools, that were over inflated and cut off the circulation to his arms.”

“Oh so he’s ok?” Jerald sounded stunned.

“He was wearing an inner tube.” Dennis finished.

The entire office shuddered in synchronization as we also exchanged ‘ew’s’ and ‘that’s really unfortunate.’

“What the hell is going on in this place?” I muttered to myself more than anyone else.

There was some more chatter. My stomach flipped. That was weird. I suddenly felt excited. Where was this coming from? I looked up and listened two deep voices stood out arguing over something.

“I’m telling you man I hate the stuff!”

“Calm down _Agent_. We’ll be out soon and you can wash it off.”

“But I want it off now.”

My heart sped up as the voices approached.

“I really hate this stuff.” Two gentlemen stood at my cubical entrance.

They stepped in. There was electricity in my veins and I was… excited!

“God I really hate-“ I froze. “cubical office’s, they remind me of coffins.” Of course not, people like me make matches not get them. It was the shorter one who had said that.

“Can I help you?” I snapped at the gentleman, rather harshly. Ok it was unnecessary but I was a little ticked, three outta four words matched and I even felt my tummy… what am I three?

The men at my door way were wearing navy suits and oddly colored ties. They jumped like they hadn’t even noticed I was there. Great.

They were ridiculously good looking. Impossibly good-looking. I narrowed my eyes while trying to seem as polite as possible,

“I’m paid to be nice to people and I’m on lunch… so?” I gestured for them to get on with it.

 The one who diminished all my hopes flashed the taller one a wide eyed “What a bitch.” Face. I sighed and put my head in my hands, I really am and I’m going to be alone forever.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” It was the taller one who spoke he had hazel eyes and lovely hair, “I am agent Young and this is agent Johnsen. We would like to ask you a few questions.” They both flashed their badges. I’ve been to college I know what a fake I.D looks like and A.C.D.C is a favorite band of mine, but committing a federal crime… must be something big.

“Please take a seat.” I chirped up and gestured to the two inexpensive chairs that could barely fit in the confined space. Why did everything I own seem to be so small. They nodded. It had been the most humorous thing I had seen all day, their limbs were just too long and the space was too small, it was like watching a ferret squeeze through a loo roll… unbelievable cute and awkward. I didn’t realize I was giggling until they were both staring at me a little annoyed.

“Sorry it’s just… let’s go somewhere more comfortable I’m on lunch and you guys are incredibly distracting.” As if on cue Agent Young’s chair gave way with a crack. And I was laughing. For the first time in weeks I was laughing. I didn’t mean too, honestly! They were blushing and apologizing. He tried to put it together it just broke even more.

“I’m… I’m sorry! Ow! My ribs!...” I was panting now. “That’s it I have to shout you lunch for that. Shall we?” I grabbed my coat and skipped out of the office. I held the elevator door open as the men quickly made their way to the lift, avoiding all possible eye contact they were successful until the Agent Johnsen tripped on his shoelace. The bigger they are, and what was he like six foot? Young pulled him up red faced and trying to act cool. Green eyes met mine and I winked through my smile. A silent, I totally saw that buddy.

The trip to the coffee shop down the road happened without further incident. We sat down with a nice view of flourishing “Barry’s Casino.” Talk of the workplace apparently; I had better things to spend my pay check on. The atmosphere lifted as I was all smiles and hunger.

“Go to chow town guys, I meant what I said about my shout.”

“Alright.” Johnsen rubbed his hands together as he picked up the menu, green eyes alight. I raised an eyebrow.

Young cleared his throat before nudging Johnsen in the ribs.

“Ow! What?” I was looking at them and he noticed.

I sighed, “You guys aren’t F.B.I are you?” I tried. Young didn’t falter.

“Sorry? What? We are totally F.B.I.” Johnsen’s shock gave it away.

“The hair,” I pointed to Young, “If that is regulation hair then I’m the Oprah.”

They both deflated.

“Just give me five minutes and some clippers.” Johnson muttered under his breath.

“Fine you win. I’m Sam this is Dean. We’re brothers.”

“Ok. What are your questions?” A waiter approached with a water bottle and three glasses. I ordered the biggest piece of cake and pie they had, because screw calories.

When the strangers placed their orders and the waiter left I set up the glasses and started pouring .

“So, what? You’re just going to answer our questions even though you know we’re not F.B.I?” Sam asked with a scoff.

“Well yeah, I mean if you guys are willing to commit a felony just to ask bloody questions then it must be really important… or you are really dumb.” I took a sip of water. “But that’s none of my business.”

“Good point.” Dean shrugged taking a sip from his own glass. Sam was giving out an impassive bitch face, “common Sammy this chick is smart enough to stay out of trouble, and I’m just saying she has a point.

“Ask away.” I encouraged. I placed my head in my hands as I looked between the two of them.

“Have you noticed anything strange- “ Sam begun.

I scoffed unimpressed.

“You mean beside my supposed co-workers disappearing every two weeks then after another two weeks turning up beyond dead?” I leaned back frown in place.

I think I got a bitch face from Sam.

“Yeah, apart from that.” He scoffed and shook his head. What an attitude.

“Oh well, in _that_ case I’m convinced Dennis in I.T. is a leprechaun, Shannon has the hots for Dave who has a soulmate so that’s weird and there is a never ending rainbow outside even though it never rains and people are just ignoring it…” The waiter brought over the food. I didn’t touch anything, suddenly not hungry. Dean was the opposite like he hadn’t eaten in days Sam was trying to wipe off his defensive bitch face but I could tell he was struggling.

“Why are you questioning me?” I decided gentle was the way to go.

“We believe that the murders are connected.” Dean said eyeing my pie.

My turn to bitch face, I shot my eyebrows up. “Really.” Sarcasm overwhelming.

“He means, aside from the location of employment.” Sam covered.

“At least you figured that out, the cops have got nothing because the M.O. is unrelated and after questioning everyone nineteen times they gave up, no leads. But all of this aside you didn’t answer my question. Why me? I started a month after the deaths begun.”

“When did you move into town?” I clicked my tongue in annoyance at the question,  Dean’s voice was soft his face changed to excitement as I pushed the pie towards him.

“Three weeks before starting. So I’ve been here five weeks.” I have never seen a man devour a sandwich so fast only to savor apple pie like it was made of gold.

“And you aren’t concerned about dying?” Sam was surprised and I think a little impressed.

“I won’t be missed.” I shrugged before I concentrating on eating my cake for a while.

There was a moment of silence I could tell they were doing the silent communication thing with their eyes again before Dean swallowed and cleared his throat.

“We’re not just asking about the deaths…” I looked up they were hesitating about something stupid probably. “We’ve also noticed that you have a one hundred percent success rate with _all_ your clients. We’ve even heard of rumors all the way from Texas-“

“Whoa holy shit! Are you kidding me?” I snapped. “There is no way you got that from scamming bloody police records or whatever it is you phony cops do… did you follow me from Texas?” Their guilty faces said it all. “Are you shitting me?” I looked between them completely stunned. “Fucking creeps.”

“Whoa now wait just a minute-“

“Oh yeah give me one good reason that I should Ryan and Justin.”

“We need your help.”

“Pfft. Clearly.”

“You don’t get it, we need your skills, come with us and we’ll explain.” Sam was looking around nervously trying to calm the scene I had unintentionally created.

“Skills? Skills! I don’t have any skills. Two weeks ago I was flat ass broke and now I have a job, which I have to get back to by the way because some of us need to work for a living!  Not just go around playing Magnum P.I. Now excuse me!” I placed bills on the table and left without my jacket and hurried away ignoring their calls.

 The afternoon seemed colder as I rushed back to the office. I looked up at the rainbow in the clear sky before almost walking into the revolving doors, _again_. I ran to the elevator and hit the button secretly hoping that they followed me from the café… I don’t know why I just got the feeling- A cloth covered my mouth and I smelt something sickly before my vision blurred. I forgot to check the elevator.

*

My head pounded. Pain. Pain is good, that means I am alive and awake and fucking sore. I could feel metal pinching my wrists and concrete digging into my back, ass and thighs. This was fan _fucking_ tastic. There was a light pain in my stomach like I had been thrown over something in a rush.

There was a scuffle next to me, I pretended to still be unconscious and trying to keep my breathing even as my head was on a painful angle was definitely proving to be a challenge. The shuffles become a groans of colorful swearwords a trucker would be proud of.

“Son of a bitch!” A hushed whisper as more chains clinked. I opened an eye catching a glimpse of Dean was it? It was almost too dark to tell.

“Y/N? Is that you?” He turned his head catching a stray moonbeam. It was Dean! Wait, why was I happy to see him?

“Oh my God Dean!” I had to stop myself from screaming, “Why am I so happy to see you?” I almost laughed despite the aches and pains.

“Good question darling, but for now let’s focus on getting out of here.” He winked in the little light and his green eyes never looked so welcoming.

“Oh ok! I can do that.” I chirped in agreement. I was panicking internally but _he_ wasn’t which led me to believe that he has done this before and seeing as how he was alive at the moment, he has gotten _out_ before.

 I shook my hair out of my eyes as I risked a look around; making sure to not rattle the chains that suspended my wrists. We were in a dark cobbled room with one barred window and holes in the ceiling, allowing little moon beams to cast what little light they could around the room. I could hardly make out the wooden door through the gloom… my eye sight must be really bad, the door looked to be three feet high and five feet wide, I must have sniffed something really bad.

“Looks like an old fashioned dungeon.” My voice was flat. I was going to die.

“Not quite, these chains are new and judging by those footprints and drag marks we haven’t been here long.”

I wanted to give him a bitch face but my neck was stiff, I was sore and I was going to die... I looked a lot better than he did though.

“What happened to your face?” His nose was clotted with dried blood that led down his chin, there was a gash above his eyebrow on the side of his face I could see and bruises were developing on his arms and his neck.

“Oh, this? It’s nothing you should see the other guy.” I chuckled at that, “We, Sam and I, we got jumped after we saw someone running away with you slung over their shoulder.” He half smiled then flinched at a cut on his lip.

“Well shit.” I slumped against my chains.

“Yeah… we had just found out what all the victims had in common apart from your “Match Making” job.”

“Don’t tell me.” I said flatly. “They all had soul words appear on their thighs two weeks before abduction?” I followed a speck in the darkness that twirled in the moonlight.

“What? No… that’s… Uh… pretty specific Y/N.” he glanced my way.

“My bad, please continue.” I smiled brightly nerves still on edge but better now, what a charmer.

“They all gambled at the same casino…” He mumbled, “Yours is a good link too… I mean that _could_ happen.” He smiled. Causing me to chuckle, I moved my foot to tap his leg playfully. There was a moment of comfortable silence between us like we weren’t chained in a dungeon. I took this time to think things through.

“So what you’re saying is…” I began, adjusting slightly in the chains feeling my shoulder click and relief flood the joint. “All the victims went to a casino, died in mysterious accidents that were so far-fetched only a terrible practical joker could have thought of them and there was a rainbow that never goes away… sound like it’s a pretty big trip to crazy town.” I blinked away the insanity.

“Hey you moved here.” He shrugged.

“Don’t remind me.”

We stilled. A sound of a door opening in the distance. I whimpered and curled my legs in, away from the door.

“Play dead. I’ll handle this.” Dean’s hushed whisper was almost lost to the approaching footsteps. I did as he said and silently prayed to the Angels again. I had been doing that a lot lately.

I was flinching with every step, Dean breathed out a low reassuring shush so I would relax and let him handle this. I relaxed and flopped completely in my restraints letting my hair fall over my eyes again.

The steps stilled.

A rattling of keys. I opened my eyes behind my hair ever so slightly.

“Hey you mind hurrying it up! Some of us don’t got all day!” Dean barked, I suppressed a smile. The door crashed open and the figure stepped into the little light there was I quickly shut my eyes again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I could tell he was grinning.

“Oi Shot yo’ fecking mouth you lettle shite.” There was a wet smack and Deans chains rattled. “No one gives a shite about ya’. Tiz slepin’ beauty I want ya ova grown loon.” There was another smack and Dean gave out a grown then a breathless chuckle. I risked a peak. The figure was three feet tall, orange hair, pipe in his mouth, white shirt… he was a fucking Leprechaun.

“For someone your size, you certainly pack a punch,” the small man of anger hit him again, “What’s up tiny, cat got your… well… got ya?” Dean laughed until there was another smack as fist connected to face. The leprechaun moved putting his back to me to lean into Dean’s ear.

I almost yelped, there was another hand on my mouth; I turned in panic golden eyes met mine. The many hughes glowing in the dark, silent pleading, asking for permission. I nodded. My lungs hitched and I was outside looking at the stars. It took me a second. I realized I was being carried bridal style looking up at the night sky. Fuck this.

I quickly stumbled out of the arms that were holding me, tripping up and landing on my hands and knees, scraping my palms in the process. I heard a tear in my pants. Embarrassed and panting I scrabbled to my feet trying to cover the tear in my thigh seam. The man who had… what had he done? Fucking teleported me? Was that right? I looked at him. He was my height with caramel hair and a smirk on his lips.

I was about to yell at him and black out when there was a rustling in the bushes beside me. I freaked. The man put a finger to his lips suddenly serious and gestured for me to get behind him; I did hastily, almost slipping on more gravel in the process. I was really bad when I was scared; I grabbed the bottom of his olive jacket and hid, sparing a glance upwards. Bastard had an amused smirk in place again as he looked down on me over his shoulder. There was more rustling and then a groan. I was shaking so I put a hand on the strangers back and leaned up chancing a peak over his shoulder. The only noise the quaking beat of my heart. I should have ignored a lot of things at that moment but one thing I couldn’t was his scent, the intoxicating aroma of fresh chocolate and _man._ Something sprung up from the undergrowth and I screamed and jumped on the strangers back. Cowering like a cartoon. He wasn’t fazed in the slightest.

“The fuck just happen?” It was Sam. I whimpered but stayed clinging to the teleporter dudes back. I watched him look around in shock then see us, “Did you find- oh!” He was taken aback from what he saw but I gave a little wave. I slowly, very slowly slid off the man’s back; I patted it when I got down, walked around then awkwardly patted his shoulder stiffly, offering him an awkward smile before backing away closer to Sam. He grabbed my hand though and pulled me to him roughly, I squeaked and turned in time to see a Leprechaun launch at us hissing wide eyed and fangs extended. The man pulled out a blade and impaled the flying creature like it was nothing. Its face flashed in bright colors; it had managed to slash a knife as big as he was at the stranger’s chest, cutting his clothes before slumping on the blade. The stranger I was clinging to, held the creature on the blade at arm’s length.

He squeezed me closer, I just watched in momentary disbelief.

“Well that’s not-“ his words cut off. The remains of the Leprechaun exploded in a bright multi-colored fireball of sparkles before shooting up into the sky. In the distance there were three more explosions each shooting up into the sky like really fat fireworks? I was awe struck as the four masses collided in the night. The collisions above us caused a chain reaction of big, bright explosions. As mesmerizing as it was, after the five second show there was another mass lepsplosion and then it started raining. I held out my hand stepping away from the warm embrace. Catching exploded Leprechaun on my hand, flecks of pure gold with a multi-colored luster. I couldn’t help it, I laughed. I laughed and spun in rainbow Leprechaun carnage. I looked at the man with the golden eyes; he was looking at me with a look I had seen so many times… but never received.

“God I hate glitter, but you are so beautiful I don’t care…” He couldn’t form words. I blushed and looked down eyes stopping at his exposed chest; I knew the words before I saw them.

“Are you glad with what you found at the end of the rainbow?” I raised my eyebrow. He laughed long and loud. As the glitter slowed in its decent, I had never seen anything more magical and I had seen a Leprechaun explode.

I caught his heated gaze. He extended his hand.

“Gabriel. Archangel of the Lord.” I took it never wanting to let go.

“Y/N L/N. Perfectly ok with that.” I pulled him roughly; kissing him before anymore could be said. He tasted like caramel and something else a taste sweater than any candy and twice as addictive.

I sneezed in his face as glitter fell from our hair onto our faces. Laughing we pulled away. “This is both amazingly right and so fucking wrong! Ew!” I scrunched up my face grinning through my disgust. I grabbed the edges of his ruined shirt suddenly not wanting it to be anywhere near his body.

“Guys I’m _right here_.” We ignored him.

Gabriel looked at me and wiggled his eyebrows. I felt a breeze on the inside of my thigh, Giggling I pulled him in no longer ashamed, no longer needing to see what was there. All I needed was the sparkle covered, honey eyed Angel in front of me…

It must be the luck of the Irish.


End file.
